04.29.06

Dedication, dedication, dedication

Posted in The nuts and bolts of it at 3:51 am by Meg

Kixque asked about some suggestions for dealing with her mil and I thought that I’d make a post with my response because I figured that it wouldn’t be short. I don’t know how much this will help, but hopefully there will be something that you can take away from it.

First let me say that while we are finishing our 7th year at this, I’m no expert. I won’t consider myself an expert until I have at least one child out of the house and satisfied with the path their life is taking. And even at that point, I’d only be an expert on our family.

That said, my experience from talking to a lot of homeschoolers is that concerns about the whole idea of homeschooling that come from spouses, partners, parents, inlaws etc. tend to fall into one of 3 catagories. As you will see as I look at each catagory, dedication (and not ability) will be enough to make homeschooling successful.

OK, the first catagory is the ‘dreaded S’ - socialization. This is such a concern from outsiders that we are still getting the same questions that John Holt was getting years ago. They can’t imagine that socialization can happen outside a classroom. To put the whole concept in prespective, consider that fact that Ray Bradbury in Frahenheit 451 (published 1953) mocks the concept that socialization happens in the classroom. Or to put it in another way, ask yourself ‘Does natural socialization happen in groups where all the participants are at the same ability level and age?’

Public schools are an artificial environment forcing kids to socialize in ways that aren’t natural. It is much more natural to find a group of people that share common interests with you and hang out with them. Within that group, participants will vary in regards to both age and abilities. The older/more experienced people take over the leadership roles and model acceptable behaviors to the rest. Younger/beginners are usually encouraged because the leaders think that their activity has value and want to share. Being out of the normal synch (as in an older beginner) is not viewed as weird because of the group being such a mix.

And this is where dedication of the parents/caregivers comes in. It is your willingness to find activities that interest your child and make them happen that will make homeschooling successful. I can’t express how much my son learned when he was only about 11 years old and playing in tournaments against kids that were in high school and college. It wouldn’t have happened if we weren’t willing to make it possible for him to be there.

The second catagory of concerns falls in the area of ‘How are YOU going to teach all those classes, especially when they get into high school?’ This one is easy. You might not.

But there are so many options out there for everything you might want to cover. Once again, dedication will mean looking plainly at what you are capable of and then finding a program that will work for your family within the budget that you might need. That program may be as unschoolly or structured as can be, but it will be something that will allow your kids to be successful. I’ve seen so many different ways to approaching homeschooling that I’ve come to the realization that no two families (or even kids within a family) homeschool exactly that same way.

The third catagory of concerns follows closely on the second. ‘How are they going to get into college or have a successful life?’ This one is really answered very similarly to the second concern. In this case, your dedication means finding out what is needed to be done to have the qualifications that colleges are looking for, or the training to enter the field they want to work in. That information is out there. Then you need to develop a plan on how to acquire the skills that are needed.

I wanted to lay out the 3 ‘catagories’ of concerns because I wanted to make it clear that dedication (and not ability) is the way to successfully deal with them. That said, a hesitant family member is not going to be reassured by you telling them that ‘I have the dedication to make this happen.’ Hopefully by laying out these three areas, you can preplan how to answer them for your family before they come up.

There is one more point that I feel needs to be added when you are dealing with doubting family members. To them it may sound as if you are jumping blind into this permanent decision that will keep your childern from having any chance of a successful life. That’s a big step in anyones’ shoes.

I’ve seen so many doubts be smoothed by talking about homeschooling as something that we are doing this year. Life changes. What’s the saying? ‘The best laid plans of mice and men….’ What you are planning may work wonderfully, but life is more than ’school’ and down the road homeschooling may not be the option that will work best. So, to those doubters make it clear that you will reassess regularly (I would not recommend more than once a year though) on whether this is something you wish to continue.

Just realizing that you are not unwilling to reconsider your choice will often ease someone’s mind. True, it may mean that they will just figure that they can fight you harder when the kids are older, but by then they will start to see what a benefit homeschooling is for the entire family.

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